I wonder what this day will bring….

I wonder what this day will bring….

Living off grid is a blessing and a wonderful experience. I wake up every morning with the thought..I WONDER WHAT TODAY WILL BRING!

Last night it was forecast to be be sunny and warm. This morning the weather shows us a different face altogether. Wet, hail and cool, beautiful grey moody clouds with the odd hint of the sun poking her face through at times, teasing us with her warmth. Im sure there were many rainbows out there today, but today was a day to stay inside and spring clean the cobwebs away. Literally from the yurt and from my being!

I awoke today with the cat on my face and a claw sticking into my lip, not a particularly nice way to wake! I assure you of that! Didn’t make me feel too happy!

So the I WONDER bit came second to the claw this morning! My acupuncturist had told me yesterday to release some old emotions from my being! Well, the cat certainly helped me get in touch with my not so good feelings. It hurt, and I was angry!! I then opened the door and reached for the key that Id left outside and boom down on my face I fell, banged my nose, huge bruise on my arm and my pooly shoulder felt poorly again.

I cried outside in the rain and then I made a cup of tea, went back to bed, took a painkiller and an Arnica and I wrote about my old self and the pent up, not heard feelings I held with me, I cried and wrote some more. Instead of not acknowledging the pain I had stuffed down within me,  I allowed it, I surrendered to it. I wrote and wrote. It was messy and very cathartic.

I asked for forgiveness, I said I was sorry to all that I felt I d hurt, I thanked the universe and my folk and kin and I loved them so much, so very much. My heart shifted from one of pain to fullness and I felt light and free from the burdens that I had placed within myself.

I am going to do a small offering to the fire tonight. Set up sacred space, sage the yurt and myself and with gratitude place my released emotions into the flames. This will be transmuted into light and love.

Today was a day that I was to work in the garden, plant seedling out in the sun and gain a glow from her warm,soft, spring rays. That was what I thought I would be doing. The WONDER WHAT TODAY WILL BRING  always brings along a shift, a change of direction, something added, something unexpected!

As I write I am sore, I ache from the fall but also from the release of old patterns. I choose now to not hold these any more.

I WONDER if I had not had the claw to my lip and the fall to the ground, would I have been able to get so deep and release so much. So I give thanks to Jedi our ginger tom for waking me and I forgive him his claws, just this once! and I forgive myself for being clumsy and walking on slippy ground when only the day before I’d slipped on the same place, just before seeing the acupuncturist and had known not to walk there.

I was told to release old pain and I had wondered how I was going to do this and do it so it didn’t repeat itself….Today was a day of surrendering to the moment and going with what each moment bought me. I have a rawness within me, an empty space to be filled with new delights and a very clean yurt as well!! No seeds planted, no tan, the odd bruise, but a feeling of freedom from deep within.

I feel blessed.

Namaste

Suze

 

 

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